And a new set of lies.
Time flies, and the distant past seems like yesterday. I have a lot on my plate, and I am desperately looking for some time to be myself. I paradoxically love what I am doing … but … sometimes, too much is too much. I am forced to abide, and work on.
Because I have so little time, I see myself putting feeling into everything I do – doing the dishes, walking home, or simulating some random thermodynamic process. I am slowly but surely mixing my emotions and my actions, because I am forced to; my life outside my studies is not getting the time, ergo, the attention it deserves. I do not know what the final outcome will be – but I can tell you that for now, I am loving the ride.
Getting so little sleep makes weeks turn into long, never-ending days. I was walking by the Hilton five minutes ago, with my father – no, wait, that was last Saturday. What have I accomplished in the interim? Could I have done more? Have I grokked everything yet? I am only an egg…
I am not letting the first woman back into my life. The second one left. The third…there will not be a third one for now. Closing your eyes and moving forward is sometimes tricky. The perfect combination of fatigue, introspection and insanity is needed. I’ll do my best, baby.
Feel.